This reviewer was drawn to this 2016 book entitled: ā101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Thinkā by Brianna Wiest by its catchy title and good reviews. There were indeed 101 Essays and some of them truly thought provoking that make the book worth purchasing and reading.All of the essays were short and some of them were excellent and āspot-onā. Other essays seemed as if they were more appropriate for a self-help therapy session book that may or may not apply to the reader. Some of the essays were fascinating and some were a struggle to finish reading. One of the 101 essays is entitled: ā101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Thinkā, that is, the exact same title as the book, which rather begs the question of what is added by the other 100 essays.Sometimes the book provided sources used to influence the authorās essays. Sometimes scholarly references were in footnotes. There were several features of the book, as published in Kindle format, that left this reviewer disappointed. In terms of format, when highlighting sections to be excerpted (as allowed by the publisher), the numbers were somehow embedded in the format and were NOT highlighted for excerption.As an example of the authorās substance and style Wiest writes: āIn his book Sapiensā¦ Harari explains that at one point, there were more than just Homo sapiens roaming the Earthā¦ Thereās a reason Homo sapiens still exist today and the others didnāt continue to evolve: a prefrontal cortex,.. was because of language and thought that... we could create a world within our minds, and ultimately, it is because of language and thought that we have evolved into the society we have todayā¦ā Wiest writes: āEvery generation has a āmonocultureā of sorts, a governing pattern or system of beliefs that people unconsciously accept as ātruth.āā¦ The objectivity required to see the effects of present monoculture is very difficult to develop. Once you have so deeply accepted an idea as ātruthā it doesnāt register as āculturalā or āsubjectiveā anymoreā¦ The fundamentals of any given monoculture tend to surround what we should be living forā¦ You believe that creating your best life is a matter of deciding what you want and then going after it, but in reality, you are psychologically incapable of being able to predict what will make you happyā¦ You extrapolate the present moment because you believe that success is somewhere you āarrive,ā so you are constantly trying to take a snapshot of your life and see if you can be happy yetā¦ You convince yourself that any given moment is representative of your life as a whole. Because weāre wired to believe that success is somewhere we get toāwhen goals are accomplished and things are completedā¦ Accomplishing goals is not success. How much you expand in the process isā¦. You think āproblemsā are roadblocks to achieving what you want, when in reality they are pathwaysā¦ Simply, running into a āproblemā forces you to take action to resolve it.ā Wiest writes: āThe Psychology of Daily Routineā¦ what we donāt realize is that having a routine doesnāt mean you sit in the same office every day for the same number of hours. Your routine could be traveling to a different country every monthā¦ In short, routine is important because habitualness creates mood, and mood creates the ānurtureā aspect of your personality, not to mention that letting yourself be jerked around by impulsivenessā¦ routine is so important (and happy people tend to follow them more)ā¦ Your habits create your mood, and your mood is a filter through which you experience your lifeā¦ Happiness is not how many things you do, but how well you do them. More is not betterā¦ As children, routine gives us a feeling of safety. As adults, it gives us a feeling of purpose.ā Wiest writes: āPeople who are socially intelligent think and behave in a way that spans beyond whatās culturally acceptable at any given moment in time. They function in such a way that they are able to communicate with others and leave them feeling at ease without sacrificing who they are and what they want to sayā¦ Here, the core traits of someone who is socially intelligent:ā¦ They do not try to elicit a strong emotional response from anyone they are holding a conversation withā¦ They do not speak in [definite terms] about people, politics, or ideasā¦ The fastest way to sound unintelligent is to say, āThis idea is wrong.āā¦ To speak definitively about any one person or idea is to be blind to the multitude of perspectives that exist on it. It is the definition of closed-minded and short-sightednessā¦ They donāt immediately deny criticism, or have such a strong emotional reaction to it that they become unapproachable or unchangeableā¦ Socially intelligent people listen to criticism before they respond to itā¦ They speak calmly, simply, concisely, and mindfully. They focus on communicating somethingā¦ Theyā¦ know that the world does not revolve around them. They are able to listen to someone without worrying that any given statement they make is actually a slight against themā¦ They do not try to inform people of their ignoranceā¦ When you accuse someone of being wrong, you close them off to considering another perspective by heightening their defenses. If you first validate their stance (ā Thatās interesting, I never thought of it that wayā¦ā) and then present your own opinion (ā Something I recently learned is thisā¦ā).. (ā What do you think about that?ā), you open them up to engaging in a conversation where both of you can learn rather than just defendā¦ They validate other peopleās feelingsā¦ validating feelings is not the same thing as validating ideasā¦ Socially intelligent people know that not everybody wants to communicate, learn, grow or connectāand so they do not try to force themā¦ They listen to hear, not respondā¦ While listening to other people speak, they focus on what is being said, not how they are going to respondā¦ They do not consider themselves a judge of whatās true. They donāt say, āyouāre wrongā; they say, āI think you are wrong.āā¦ They donāt āpoison the wellā or fall for ad hominem fallacy to disprove a point. āPoisoning the wellā is when someone attacks the character of a person so as to shift the attention away from the (possibly very valid) point being made.ā About, the āHappiness of Excellenceā, Wiest writes: āEric Greitens says that there are three primary forms of happiness: the happiness of pleasure, the happiness of grace, and the happiness of excellence. He compares them to the primary colors, the basis on which the entire spectrum is createdā¦ The happiness of pleasure is largely sensoryā¦ The happiness of grace is gratitudeā¦ And then there is the happiness of excellence. The kind of happiness that comes from the pursuit of something great. Not the moment you arrive at the top of the mountain and raise your fists in victory, but the process of falling in love with the hike. It is meaningful workā¦ One cannot replace another. They are all necessaryā¦ āLots and lots of red will never make blue. Pleasures will never make you whole.āā¦ The happiness of excellence is the work of emotional resilience. Itās the highest ranking on Maslowās hierarchy. It is measured, deliberate, and consistentā Wiest .writes: āIf you ask any young adult what their primary stressor in life is, itās likely something that relates to uncertaintyā¦ Nobodyānot one of usāknows āwhat weāre doing with our lives.ā ā¦ āWhat do I want?ā is a question you need to ask yourself every dayā¦ The good news is that your life is probably different than how you think it is. Unfortunately, thatās the bad news, tooā¦ Kahneman says: āThe confidence people have in their beliefs is not a measure of the quality of evidence, but of the coherence of the story that the mind has managed to construct.ā ā¦ [Wiest discusses the] biases that affect us so deeplyā¦ā Wiest writes: āLearn to love things that donāt cost much. Learn to love simple food and cooking it, being outside, the company of a friend, going for walks, watching the sunrise, a full nightās sleep, a good dayās workā¦ Learn to live within your meansāno matter how much money you make, your āpercentage habitsā will remain the same. If youāre in the habit of seeing all of the income you make as āspending moneyā (as opposed to investing money, saving money, etc.) you will always revert to that habit, no matter how much you make. It is only by learning to live comfortably within your means that youāre able to actually achieve your goals when you earn moreā¦ Differentiate the fine line between what you can and canāt controlā¦ āChoose not to be harmedāand you wonāt feel harmed. Donāt feel harmedāand you havenāt been.āāMarcus Aureliusā Wiest writes: āRe-write your āsuccessā narrativeā¦ Sometimes itās doing what you know is right despite the fact that everyone else in your life is looking down on it. Sometimes itās just getting through the day or the month. Lower your expectationsā¦ Connect with peopleā¦ Redefine āhappinessā not as something you experience when you get what you want, but something you feel when you have something meaningful to work toward each dayā¦ Focus on getting better, but let go of the end goal. You get better, not perfectā¦ Stop judging other people. See everyone with dignity, with a story, with reasons for why they are how they are and why they do what they doā¦ Read books that interest youā¦Hearing a new voice in your mind will teach you how to think differentlyā¦ Donāt stand in front of the road sign forever; map a new pathā¦ā Wiest writes: āā¦it seems that the most effective creative process is one that follows the art of Zenāmeditation, mindfulness, intuition, non-resistance, non-judgment, etcā¦ The single most powerful, liberating thing any one of us can do is choose to believe that everything is here to help us. If you want to understand why you perceive your life the way you do, ask yourself what you think the point of it is. This isnāt a lofty, philosophical questionā¦ This is the underbelly of how you think and behaveā¦ You either see yourself as a victim of what happens to you, or as someone given opportunity to change, grow, see differently, and expandā¦ When people believe that they are victims, they forfeit their power.ā Wiest writes: āSuccess is more a product of habit than it is skill. To excel at something, you must be able to do it prolificallyā¦ What separates experts from the rest of us is a blend of profound self-control, disciplined routine, and unwavering dedicationā¦ While natural skill is more or less something youāre born with, self-control is something you developā¦ Start where you are, use what you have, do what you canā¦ My life consists of my daysāwhat am I doing with this one?ā Wiest writes: āThe 7 Main Ways People Fightā¦ At its most basic level, argumentativeness is a reflex, not a choice. When we feel threatened in some way, we either respond by fleeing, freezing, or fighting. Eventually, most people begin to realize that unconsciously responding to random, external stimuli is exhausting at best and destructive at worst. We begin to censor our responses to thingsāthese are the seeds of self-awarenessā¦ there are a lot of idiotic ways that people try to argue with one another, and most of them do not workā¦ā Wiest writes that there are: ā16 Questions that will show you Who You Are (and what you're meant to do) [and] The real work of anything is simply becoming conscious of what is already trueā¦ Get rid of things that arenāt purposeful or meaningful. The reason why this is so important is because things are defining, especially when we buy them with the intention of making us ādifferent.āā¦ Itās not about having as little as possible, itās about having only things that serve purpose or hold meaning.ā On seeking comfort, Wiest writes: āThereās no such thing as true securityā¦ Our bodies were made to evolve, our physical items are temporary and can be lost and broken, etc. To combat this, we seek comfort rather than accepting the transitory nature of lifeā¦ The only way you grow is by stepping into the unknownā¦ Thereās no such thing as real comfort; thereās only the idea of whatās safeā¦ Comfortable is just an idea. You choose what you want to base yours onā¦ The people who have been through a lot are often the ones who are wiser and kinder and happier overallā¦ Truly coming to peace with anything is being able to say: āThank you for that experience.ā To fully move on from anything,.. you must be able to recognize what purpose it served and how it made you better. Until that moment, youāll only be ruminating over how it made things worse, which means youāre not to the other side yet. To fully accept your lifeāthe highs, lows, good, badāis to be grateful for all of it, and to know that the āgoodā teaches you well, but the ābadā teaches you betterā¦ Clarity comes from doing, not thinking about doingā¦ A good life comes from choosing to work with what you have,.. ā Wiest writes: āItās not about following passion; itās about following purpose passionately. Passion is a manner ofā¦ traveling, not a means to determine a destination. Passion is the spark that lights the fire; purpose is the kindling that keeps it burning all nightā¦ Cultivating a sense of gratitudeāwhich is not waiting for a feeling of being happy with your life but choosing it by actively focusing on what youāre fortunate, grateful, and proud to haveāis essential to ever feeling satisfied with your life, because it puts you in a mindset to seek more to be grateful forā¦ Itās doing, not thinking about doing, that creates a life well livedā¦ purposeful work is cultivated by doing it, not thinking about why you shouldā Wiest writes: āYour impermanence is a thing you should meditate on every day: There is nothing more sobering, nor scaryā¦ than to remember that you do not have forever. What defines your life, when itās all said and done, is how much you influence other peopleās lives, oftentimes just through your daily interactions and the courage with which you live your own. Thatās what people remember. Thatās what you will be known for when youāre no longer around to define yourselfā¦ [Liberation] begins with one question: What do you think youāre here for?... Explore what you most inherently believe, and then determine how you can live that out to the best of your abilityā¦ Why do you do what you do each day?... Thereās no right or wrong answerā¦ the point is simply just to know what most strongly motivates youā¦ Everybody has one thing that ultimately owns them, drives them, controls them at some visceral levelā¦ Itās usually not about freeing yourself from these ties that bind you, but learning to wield them for a greater purposeā¦ There is a purpose to all things. Your job is not to understand why, but just to find it in the first placeā¦ A good life isnāt passionate, itās purposeful. Passion is the spark that lights the fire; purpose is the kindling that keeps the flame burning all nightā¦ A good life is not measured by what you do, itās about what you areā¦ A good life is not how it adds up in the end, but what youāre counting along the wayā¦ External acquisition does not yield internal contentmentā¦ā Wiest writes: āāThere is no grand moment in life. You donāt wake up and say, āAha! Iāve made it!ā Happiness is all in details, the joy is all in the journeyā¦ āYou havenāt failed until youāve stopped trying.āā¦ āDonāt take anything too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.āā¦ āWe take our lives way too seriouslyā¦ in a few hundred years, most people will be completely forgotten about. Thatās not depressing, that is liberatingā¦ do what you most genuinely want to. It wonāt matter anyway, so make it matter now.āā¦ Whether success is a product of chance or fate, all you can control is how much work you put inā¦ Nobody ever got anything from just wanting it badly enough. You have to want it badly enough to sacrifice, and to work hardā Wiest writes: āThe amount of life we waste gathering and holding onto the things that will never really serve us does one thing and one thing only: keeps us away from the things that matterā¦. Never taking the initiative to learn how to live within your meansāwhatever your means might be. It doesnāt matter how much or how little money you are making, how many investments you have or savings accounts that are stacked or absolutely empty, it doesnāt matter how much or little debt you still have to pay off, if you are not already in the mindset and lifestyle of living within the means youā¦ have, the same financial problems will follow you no matter where you go or what you achieve.ā Wiest writes: āWe all have an aching desire to live a meaningful life, and yet none of us seems to know howā¦ Success is falling in love with the process, not the outcomeā¦ Only some happiness is valued in society. Not everybody will applaud that you left your job to work at a coffee shop because itās what you loveā¦ Someone elseās success doesnāt make you less successful. Someone else receiving love or praise doesnāt mean you arenāt love or praiseworthyā¦ The happier you are with a decision, the less you need other people to beā¦ You donāt have to go to work; you get to go to work. You donāt have to wake up early; you get to wake up early. When you start considering things not as obligations but as opportunities, you start taking advantage of them rather than trying to avoid themā¦ Anything that exists in your life exists because you created it. Anything that persists does so because you are feeding itā¦ You probably canāt be whatever you want, but if youāre really lucky and you work really hard, you can be exactly who you are.ā Wiest writes: āLearn to like what doesnāt cost muchā¦ Learn to like reading, whatever it is you like to read. Learn to like talking and people, even when theyāre not the same as you. Learn that truths can coexist. Thatās the one thing that will set you free in this worldā¦ Learn to keep your needs simple and your wants smallā¦ Decide to keep nothing but what is meaningful and purposefulā¦ Stop asking: āWhat am I doing with my life?ā and start asking: āWhat am I doing with today?ā Wiest writes: āYou Are A Book of Stories, Not A Novelā¦ Life is vivid and changing and real and unpredictableā¦ With no plot other than the one weāre living in the moment, here and nowā¦ if you didnāt have rainy days, you wouldnāt be able to appreciate the sunny ones?ā¦ The same is true of nature: It sustains itself through a cycle of creation and destruction, as does human lifeā¦ There is no good without bad, high without low, or life without pain.ā Wiest writes: āWhen the Western Zen renaissance began in the 50sā¦ it was a manifestation aligned precisely what ancient teachings hoped and intended for humanity: to adopt it into our lifestyleā¦ The way that non-resistance was intended to be practiced was by striking a fine balance between what you can and cannot control in your lifeā¦ it is realizing that the path of non-resistance does not call for us to completely surrender to āwhateverā happens in life. Rather, it is to be discerning about how we exert control... To think well is to think objectively and factually. The human brain is wired to affirm itself; we are programmed to find evidence that supports what we most want to believeā¦ Despite being a derivative of Buddhist teaching, Zen is simply the art of self-awareness. It does not dictate what you should feel or believe in; how you should be or what you should doā¦ only that you should be conscious of your experience, fully immersed in it. Itās for this reason that Zen principles are universalāthey can apply to any dogma or lifestyleā¦ [Wiest enumerates] eight ancient teachings of Zen and how to navigate them in the modern worldā¦ Stop Chasing Happinessā¦ It is wiser to spend a life chasing knowledge, or the ability to think clearly and with more dimension, than it is to just chase what āfeels good.āā