For You When I Am Gone: Twelve Essential Questions to Tell a Life Story
by: Steve Leder (0)
From the bestselling author of The Beauty of What Remains, a guide to writing a meaningful letter about your life.
Writing an ethical will, a document that includes stories and reflections about your past, is an ancient tradition.Ā It can include joy and regrets, and ultimately becomes both a way to remember a loved one who is gone and a primer on how to live a better, happier life.Ā Beloved Rabbi Steve Leder has helped thousands of people to write their own ethical wills, and in this intimate book helps us write our own.
Because our culture privileges the material over the spiritual, we sometimes forget that our words carry greater value than any physical thing we can bequeath to our loved ones.Ā Rabbi Leder provides all the right questions and prompts, including: What was your most painful regret and how can your loved ones avoid repeating it?Ā When was a time you led with your heart instead of your head?Ā What did you learn from your biggest failure?
Including examples of ethical wills from a broad range of voicesāold and young, with and without children, famous and unknownāFor You When I Am Gone inspires readers to examine their own lives and turn them into something beautiful and meaningful for generations to come.
The Reviews
After reading The Beauty of What Remains shortly after losing my Mom (hugely therapeutic for me) I knew I had to read this book. Steve is a wordsmith. I am excited to leave more than a few bucks and Tchotchkes for my kids. This book is inspiring and Iām not even finished with it yet. I know it will be like therapy once again, reading and then writing my own stories. Iāve claimed Steve as my Rabbi and Iām not even Jewish. Lol. I highly recommend both of his books.
I read each chapter and wrote my answer to each question. It helped me overcome some issues in my life. I have taken my own advice and I am already seeing how much more has opened up for me and my family. Thank You So Much! I don't know how else to thank you!
Excellent book to help write an ethical will.
Got for my wife. She loves it.
I guess I was curious about this ethical will thing, but I believe all this information will be available in the Field of your family system, and if you were a parent you already passed along more than you probably realize. Aside from the reassurance in Chapter 8* and the repeated message I already knew that only Love matters, I just feel like a lot of this book flies low. A lot of whatās offered in advice format even seems potentially maladaptive to me, depending on context of course...*The reassurance for me was that in his 35 years as a rabbi the author has not seen that cutting someone who has been toxic to you out of your life creates any guilt when they die; he says from what he has seen, when they die there is relief. So yeah, even that might fly low, too, but maybe weāre not all at a uniformly high frequency in all areas of our lives. š¤·š»āāļøšš»
I heard an interview of Rabbi Leder on Life Examined and was so impressed. The book is full of platitudes, and is definitely not the thoughtful, insightful read I expected. Just repetitive, trite āquotesā from a supposedly diverse group of people. Only redeeming thing is book is mercifully short. Made me appreciate what a skillful interviewer Jonathan Bastion is- made his guest shine.
This book sounded like an answer to a prayer butI quote āI reached out to a group of friendsā¦āAmong them are African American, Indian, Caucasian, and Hispanic men and women, as well as gentiles, Jews, Muslims and Hindus. They are straight and gay, single and married, cisgender and transgender, some with children and some childlessā..and he goes on.But Iām Christian. I donāt know if I want to read this.I feel so left out. He seemed so knowledgeable and kind and caring in his interview. As I saidā¦ā Iām confused. ā
Iām still reading. Itās very interesting.
