The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture

This book is divided into five parts, with 33 chapters, and a total of about 497 pages, not including the Acknowledgements/Notes/Index.In the Introduction, Maté gives a summary of his reasons for writing the book, and he explains his basic premise: “It is my contention that by its very nature our social and economic culture generates chronic stressors that undermine well-being in the most serious of ways,”.In Part 1 – ‘Our Interconnected Nature’, Maté begins by discussing trauma, and the lasting effects of traumatic experiences, even ones from infancy. He also explores the body-mind connection, with the contention that our physical wellbeing is even more linked to our thoughts than most people realize. Maté cites various research studies and examples from his professional life to further illustrate his points. He quotes various neuroscientists and geneticists, and he explains how outside influences even affect our immune systems.In Part 2, Maté discusses early life and the developmental needs of children. He covers the effects of stress, even in the womb before the child is born. He gives some perspective on childbirth, early stages of development, parenting styles, the effects of screentime, and cultural norms.In Part 3 Maté gives his thoughts about diseases and addictions potentially being adaptations to the environment. He discusses various types of addictions, and some myths and misconceptions about mental illnesses.Part 4 shifts the focus to society as a whole, and the ways that modern societies can be a source of stressors that lead to illness. Maté covers economic stress, dislocation and loneliness, neuromarketing, Big Food and Big Pharma, inequalities of race, class, and gender, and political division.In Part 5 Maté wraps up by offering some ideas about healing and wholeness. He talks about the four A’s: Authenticity, Agency, Anger and Acceptance. He offers his thoughts about compassion, and how to learn from modern diseases. He discusses how to improve self-awareness, and how to learn to say “No”. Maté also talks about psychedelics and spirituality, before giving a few final words about the path to a healthier future society.Overall, I liked this book. I was intrigued by Maté’s take on these lesser-studied large scale issues, and I thought that he made some very good points. This topic is difficult to write a very scientific book on though, because there are so many vague concepts and multi-faceted issues, that it becomes almost impossible to prove some of his assertions. I think that there is some good advice here towards the end of the book, and many parts really encouraged me to think more deeply; but also, the general concept of society/culture contributing to illness is such a broad topic that it is hard to really feel like there are great solutions. Still, I don’t regret reading this one.

Dr Gabor Mate is a gifted writer and includes many reputable sources. While the subject matter of the book is not a light topic, the most disturbing part of the book to me was his promotion of a particular retreat center in Peru, and the knowledge of his personal journey which while humble is also somewhat shocking that he speaks with such authority yet seems to have done so little personal experiential work himself. The retreat center that he references in Peru promotes themselves as being safe and qualified yet anyone in the plant medicine world will tell you that they have crossed paths with people who have been severely traumatized by the center. While Matthew W, the retreat founder is a businessman, he has very strategically allied with Dr Mate. I personally attended a retreat at the site mentioned where someone had a psychotic break and the retreat center released him to go home and unfortunately he never made it home. Instead after roaming recklessly in the airport, he ended up in a mental hospital. The center never even checked up on his fellow retreat participants who were the ones left to try to help him in the airport. There was another incident where a facilitator was talking negatively about a prior participant and breaking their confidentiality. And another incident not long ago where someone needed to be airlifted out of the jungle because of the “vomitivo” practices at the retreat center. The person nearly died. Not to mention, the integration program is not led by licensed therapists or trauma certified staff. And, the center has notoriously had a difficult time retaining facilitators both due to their inadequate compensation and spiritual bypassing. So, the fact that Gabor Mate affiliates himself with such an organization and has even gone so far to promote such an organization is questionable and disturbing given the responsibility that comes with his reputation and position of power. Sadly, while this book highlights the fallback of our society it also promotes them.

I am not finished with the book quite yet. I pre ordered months ago and just received a few days ago. But I don’t need to finish to urge people to look no further. Gabor Mate’s work is prolific. Not because he is some genius or prophet but because this book is made up of everything he has learned from listening to other people. Truly compassionately listening to their pain and suffering. Dedicating his life to helping people heal, understand themselves, and ultimately find themselves again. along the way working on finding healing himself after suffering traumas from being born during the holocaust. He is a sensitive soul living with his eyes wide open. If we all can learn to even just take moments to glimpse at the world and understand illness, health, and wellness the way he does not only will we be better off but so too will the world. I am a therapist a fellow traveler and witness among peoples journey towards healing and this book is an invaluable gift.

To quote Dr Mate quoting James Baldwin, "everything that is faced can be changed but nothing can be changed until it is faced"Dr Mate synthesizes his previous works on trauma, parenting, addiction and more in this book. The myth of normal refers to all the ways we are hurting ourselves, as individuals and as societies, which we are unaware of and therefore think are " normal" . The " toxic culture" referred to in the subtitle goes way beyond physical toxins to include all the ways we are disconnected from our authentic selves and from each other. He writes extensively about the failure to address trauma and connect mind and body in modern medicine, and many other aspects of our society where we are sabotaging ourselves.I love that Dr Mate, currently 78, is still an optimist and is so passionate about his vision of a world where we are connected to our true selves and to each other.

Gabor Maté is an effective teacher and guide. He goes in depth to challenge, educate and describe the many layers that go into creating trauma in people. He shares the important insight that health care provides should be asking questions about their patients mental health and well-being, rather than just their physical symptoms and ailments. There are some great parenting sections as well. Highly recommended.

So much appreciation for Gabor’s work and his newest book written with his son, Daniel. While I’ve followed Gabor Mate’s work for a few years, this is the first book of his that I bought and I am highlighting the heck out of it! I just resonate so much that every few pages I find myself filled with emotion and gratitude for this book. It’s full of research and common sense and just an overall outstanding message for the world. Thank you thank you!!!!

I had never heard of Dr. Mate until I listened to a recent interview that Dr. Mark Hyman had with him about this book. What great timing for me, as I have been struggling with a series of health issues that I now connect in part to job stresses, residues of growing up in a dysfunctional home, and the difficulties of trying to survive in an increasingly "toxic" society. Dr. Mate's introductory story about the surfacing of feelings from his infant self (as a 70+ year old) drew me in immediately. I am almost 54 and still have pockets of repressed/suppressed feelings that need to be cleared, so I recognized myself as Dr. Mate revealed different aspects of his personal story in this book. The weaving into the book of Dr. Mate's personal experiences and the personal stories of many survivors of abuses in childhood resonated with me, as I, too, survived some awful events in childhood. The breadth and depth of material covered in this book is incredible, and backed up with a long list of scientific research that is well documented at the end of the book. Although complex topics are covered (for example, epigenetics, or changes in expression of genes due to signals from the environment; stresses to a mother during pregnancy can be transmitted to the growing baby; multigenerational transfer of trauma), Dr. Mate writes in a very down to earth way that I could easily understand. There were so many light bulb moments for me when reading this book ... like it helped me realize that I almost never expressed anger openly towards my parents while growing up (even though I should have based on how they treated me). My way of surviving in my dysfunctional family was to be compliant, quiet and not call much attention to myself. Well, that worked for awhile as a child and into early adulthood, but the repressed anger and sadness were still stored in my psyche and body, and CONTINUE to affect me and how I relate to people. I went into a scientific career where I could blend in behind the scenes and not call too much attention to myself. This book helped me better understand that the childhood adaptations that automatically happen to survive a dysfunctional family helped me survive. But, now I am ready for the healing (becoming whole) that Dr. Mate talks about in his book. I have been listening to additional YouTube videos that feature Dr. Mate's work. This book has helped me immensely and led me to other authors that I think will be helpful to me (Tara Brach). For me, the book brought awareness to some of my personal issues, and helped me better understand the multi-generational transfer of trauma. I have more compassion for myself, my parents and people, in general.Thank you, so much, Dr. Mate!

A amazon review is not enough to give this book the attention it deserves. I cant recommend this book enough to anyone that is starting on a journey to figuring out why they are the way they are. The book goes into explicit detail about what happens to children even before they are born and what happens to all of us as we progress in life. It highlights the longterm impact of trauma and how it transforms us into the adult version of our childhood selves. It points out what happens in society and addresses the problems related to health and mind body.I think EVERY person should read this book and go into it with an open mind.Only by understanding the trauma and the trauma responses we have, can one move forward and get better.The book offers no magic to getting better but it provides the awareness of what is occurring so that one can make incremental improvements to the trauma response.I first heard the author on Joe Rogan and it led me to purchasing this book.You will NOT see the world the same way once you have read this book and understood why so many people are walking around with trauma and pretending to be okay. We are not okay. The world is not okay and only by understanding it, can we make the small changes to improve things in our own lives and to lead our children on a better path.

This is no beach read! But boy, does it bring an Ocean of wisdom, care, love and sunshine to the feet of those of us who haven't found life so easy at times, especially if its beginnings were traumatic. I have been working with it now--and yes, it is work of the most noble kind if it's about healing and efficacy while you are still on Earth! --for some weeks since it's inception. I'm in my 80's now, but "it's never too late to have a happy childhood", as Claudia Black once said. There is healing, and it's never too late as long as you are still living! Dr. Gabor has done an immense amount of research on the effects of trauma from early life experiences, as well as through his own experiences as a medical doctor, a husband, a father, and a deeply caring individual. Those of us who need clarification, guidance, intervention, or simply a caring person on the scene are very lucky to be alive and witnessing this phenomenon of "there is another way" to find one's true being in a world where "toxic" seems to be the norm everywhere. I am SO thankful for the work and dedication of this man! And the book is so well-read by his son, Daniel; clear, at one with the meaning and emphases at every point. Such a wonderful demonstration of how that father/son relationship has become a gift to us all. Thank you, thank you, thankyou, Dr Mate and Daniel! All my love and many blessings, Shelagh

This book changed the way I look myself, my family, and the world—not necessarily for "the better," if you assume that "better" is "positive." But, for the truth, and accepting that truth has brought peace to my life and a deep, not easy but deep, peace regarding the "problems" I have. This book, more than anything, truly shows that we are all simply doing our best to walk each other home, and dealing with the consequences of getting lost along the way. Thank you for your work Gabor and Daniel Maté!